Moving to a new place necessitates meeting new people.
If you have not gone out there and met people, do not delay it any further.
Go out, today!
The sooner you get comfortable going out by yourself, and asking new people simple questions, the better you get at it.
Unlock the Secrets to Success:
Finding Friends While Living Abroad
Secret #1: Talk – to Yourself
What is your natural language, what is your mother tongue?
What is the common language used in your city to socialize?
If your have different answers to those two questions, you need to start getting more comfortable with the lingua franca (common language) of your new city
Start speaking to yourself in the local language.
If you’re a French native speaker who is now in Singapore, start using English when thinking by yourself in the morning and in the metro.
Talk to yourself in the local language when you have your internal dialogue.
Practicing this will make it more natural for you to interact with new people.
You will become more comfortable socializing because you’re taking down the language barrier.
The goal is to reach the state where your brain no longer puts effort in translating what’s being said to you (from the local common language to your native language),
and when your brain no longer puts effort in translating what you are thinking to what your mouth is speaking (from your native language to the local common language).
Secret #2: Talk – to Acquaintances
You don’t need to be fluent in the local language to talk to your colleagues and other acquaintances.
In fact, you’ll get better at speaking like a local as you talk to them.
Even when the language is the same, try to pick-up local expressions.
Practice making conversation.
This is the only way to get comfortable and good at it.
You can start with small talk, and progress toward deeper topics.
Be genuinely curious about others’ lives and interests.
Be open about your own experiences.
Conversation is a dialogue, it’s a back-and-forth exchange in which you are an active participant.
Be observant. Be an attentive listener.
Ask questions and ask follow-up questions.
Secret #3: Talk – to Strangers
Rip off the band-aid!
There’s no perfect time, no perfect place.
Just do it.
Approach talking to strangers in the same way you’d talk to acquaintances, or friends-of-friends.
Be open. Be genuinely curious. Ask questions.
Wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone initiated a conversation with you, while you were the one by yourself?
Is it so ridiculous to be friendly?
Talk to someone.
No expectations.
Just do it, and keep doing it.
Apart from having an interesting chat, the practice in itself is character building.
And if you’re lucky, you’d find one or a few good friends.
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